Letter For The Fallen

Posted on 12 Dec 2019 @ 12:15am by Lieutenant Commander Camila Di Pasquale

807 words; about a 4 minute read

Mission: Epilogue
Location: Security Office
Timeline: April 30, 2389

Camila sat in her office in the Security Complex with her console active before her. On the screen was a list of names from her department and each and every name had "Deceased" beside of wtih the reason listed after that.

Many had been killed by the Dolmoqour possessed crew, but there was one name in particular that stood out. Manny Lipscomb. Tactical Officer. Age Thirty-eight. Species Human. Rank Ensign. Deceased. Cause of Death: Phaser shot from possessed personnel.

"No, Manny," she whispered as a tear slid down her cheek. "Not just any possessed personnel. Me. We were on the bridge the second time and you had to be a hero. You just had to get up from what you were doing to try to stop me. Your duty. That's all you were doing and I killed you."

More tears ran down her cheek as started to shake and sob in her chair. All she could see was the young Tactical officer getting up from his station with a phaser in hand, then she saw her own hand raise up with the phaser in it and firing at him.

She had fought the Dolmoqour possessing her; oh how she had fought it. It had proven too strong for her and any other crew possessed. It was her fault they were on the ship. She had surrendered the away team to the Dolmoqour possessed Scruna on the planet and now she had to live with what happened.

Tears still slid down her face and she shakily wiped them away and reached for the console. She pulled up the details from Lipscomb's personal file and saw that his mother and father and a younger sister still survived. She felt like her heart was breaking and her soul was burdened with guilt.

She had written letters to next of kin before, but never to someone she had killed herself. How could she even word the letter? What could she say that would make them understand? If it were her, she didn't know if she could forgive anyone who killed her parent, sibling, child.

For all the talk of an enlightened humanity and the quest to better oneself, all it took was one alien parasite to usurp control and make you do things she wouldn't dream of and she wondered if she still belonged in Starfleet. After three years of service and one horrible thing after another, she had to wonder if it had finally beaten her.

"No," she whispered to the empty office. "No, I won't give up. I won't let Manny or the others to have died in vain. They were doing what I should have done. They deserve better. They deserved better than me." The last was said so softly that she wondered if she had even said it, but the words echoed in her mind.

The saddened and grief stricken Security Chief looked at the screen before she pulled up a message form and began to type.

To the Parents and Family of Manny Lipscomb,

My name is Lieutenant Camila Di Pasquale and I was your son's Chief of Security on the USS Black Hawk-A. Words cannot express the potential that Manny showed, nor the devotion to duty that he had. From the moment he set foot on the USS Black Hawk-A, I knew he would go far in his chosen field.

It is my immense regret to inform you that your son, Manny, was killed defending the crew of the USS Black Hawk-A when intruders took the ship while on a mission in the Gamma Quadrant. I hate to face the fact that someone so young, with so much promise, could just be gone. But I'm facing it now. And I found myself thinking how important he was to me. He was a great Tactical officer and he won't be forgotten.

Lieutenant Camila Di Pasquale
Chief of Security
USS Black Hawk-A

Camila signed her name to the form but had to wait until they were out of the Zone to send it. She debated putting in that she had been the intrude that killed him, but Starfleet would obviously redact certain aspects of the mission. She took her pips off and put them in front of her, weighing her duty versus her conscious, but felt the need to talk to the Captain before she sent it.

With a heavy sigh, the young woman got up and went to the replicator for another cup of coffee, but knew that once she went back to her quarters, she'd change that for something much stronger. She told herself it was to help her sleep, but the nightmares would still be there.

She went back to her console and saved the message, then prepared herself for what was to come.

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