My Thoughts on Chocolate

Posted on 19 Aug 2017 @ 5:20pm by Ensign Kelly Khan

1,185 words; about a 6 minute read

Stardate something or other. I've had a lot of time to think recently and the biggest thing on my mind is chocolate. People always seem to ask why I love it so much, so I've decided to list all the reasons. Here goes.

• There is no such thing as too much chocolate… ever!
• There is definitely such a thing as not enough chocolate.
• When your friends say you look fabulous, it's not bragging to tell them about your secret chocolate diet.
• A chocolate a day keeps the doctor away (except the cute ones).
• White chocolate keeps your teeth bright… we think. But hey, why ruin a good story with the truth?
• Eating chocolate before dinner may spoil your appetite, but don't worry, another appetite will come along soon.
• Chocolate is a "superfood" that provides your recommended daily allowance of pleasure in one sitting.
• If it says "chocolate flavored" on the packet, don't eat it.
• Cheap chocolate is bad for your ego. You are worth more than that.
• The only time you can eat chocolate slow and easy is when you are alone.
• Chocolate is exempt from the golden rule of sharing.
• Chocolate is bad for dogs…and children…and husbands…and neighbors.
• Chocolate is good for YOU!
• They say you should give yourself a gift each day, but with chocolate, it is proper etiquette to give yourself five to ten gifts a day.
• Chocolate doesn’t give you pimples, your dirty fingers do, so wash your hands before and after eating and everything is fine.
• Double dunking at the chocolate fountain is proper etiquette (as long as you don't get caught).
• Chocolate is the best way to cheer up a bad day.
• Eat pure chocolate. Be happy.
• Chocolate covered fruit makes you even more kissable.
• Life is there to be lived and chocolate is there to help you live it.
• Children are short, store chocolate in high places to save it from their grubby little mitts.
• They say chocolate is a moment on the lips and a lifetime on the hips, but who are "they?"
• If no one saw you eat the chocolate, you didn’t actually eat the chocolate.
• If the kids see you eating chocolate, tell them it's a brown vegetable bar.
• You can hide chocolate by the vacuum cleaner and it will never be found.
• Chocolate is the one food that won’t leave you with a pile of dishes.
• Chocolate is actually a fruit derived from pods of the cacao tree and it's okay to have fruit for lunch.
• Chocolate melts if left out, so you should eat it quickly.
• Even if you have nothing in common, you always have chocolate in common.
• Chocolate is the eighth wonder of the world.
• Eating chocolate will keep you sweet.
• Chocolate is the only food that tastes as good in liquid form as it does in solid, it’s a modern miracle!
• Chocolate is a "perfect food" - I mean, if you were in a disaster, what would you want more?
• Giving a chocolate piece is the best token of peace you can give.
• If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
• Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices, and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
• Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.
• Chocolate also contains milk which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food.
• If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
• If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?
• Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean is a vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar beets. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category too. Therefore chocolate is a vegetable.
• Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way at least you'll get one thing done.
• A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
• If you can't eat all of your chocolate it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?
• When no one understands you, chocolate is there.
• Hot fudge fills deep needs.
• Eating chocolate can have significant influences on mood, generally leading to an increase in pleasant feelings and a reduction in tension.
• Don’t wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty. • Chocolate isn’t like premarital sex. It will not make you pregnant. And it always feels good.
• I’d give up chocolate, but I’m no quitter.
• The 12-step chocoholics program: NEVER BE MORE THAN 12 STEPS AWAY FROM CHOCOLATE!
• Chocolate is cheaper than therapy and you don’t need an appointment.
• Chocolate isn’t a food, it’s a medicine.
• Some like it hot, some like it cold; I like it chocolate!
• I never met a chocolate I didn’t like.
• Seven days without chocolate makes one weak.
• Chocolate: Here today… Gone today!
• Seduced by the chocolate side of the Force.
• Given enough chocolate and coffee, I could rule the world.
• Here, have some chocolate. Feel better now?
• I only eat chocolate for you, so there will be more of me to love.
• If it ain’t chocolate, it ain’t breakfast!
• Chocolate – The breakfast of champions!
• Chocolate is not just for breakfast.
• I’m a Chocoholics Anonymous dropout.
• I’ll eat anything! As long as it’s chocolate.
• There’s more to life than chocolate, but not right now.
• All I want is peace, love, understanding, and a chocolate bar bigger than my head.
• Coffee makes it possible to get out of bed, but chocolate makes it worthwhile.
• Chocolate is not a matter of life and death – it’s more important than that!
• If chocolate is the answer, the question is irrelevant.
• Dip it in chocolate; it’ll be fine.
• If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.
• If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?
• Anything tastes better dipped in chocolate.
• Chocolate doesn’t make the world go ’round, but it sure does make the trip worthwhile!
• The best things in life are chocolate.
• Money talks. Chocolate sings!
• Once you consume chocolate, chocolate will consume you.
• There are only three things in life that matter – good friends, good chocolate and, oh dear, what was that other one?
• A chocolate in the mouth is worth two on the plate.
• Anything is good and useful if it’s made of chocolate.
• What is the meaning of life? All evidence to date suggests it’s chocolate.

That about sums it up and all this talking about chocolate reminds me...it's time for my chocolate. End log!

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